One of the most valuable traits we can instill in our children is the ability to be peacemakers. In today’s world, conflict is everywhere, and helping our kids navigate disagreements with grace and wisdom will equip them for lifelong relational success. In this post, we’ll explore how we, as parents, can guide our children toward becoming peacemakers and how biblical principles can shape their approach to conflict.
The Biblical Call to Be Peacemakers
The Bible places a high value on peacemaking. Proverbs 20:3 says, “It is to one’s honor to avoid strife,” and in Matthew 5:9, Jesus blesses the peacemakers, saying they “shall be called sons of God.” These verses remind us that as Christians, we are called to actively avoid unnecessary conflict and to work toward peace in our relationships.
As parents, our job is to help our children live out these truths. From a young age, kids are faced with conflicts—whether it’s over toys, who gets the biggest piece of dessert, or who gets to pick the movie. These moments provide an opportunity to teach them how to become peacemakers.
Teaching Generosity in Conflict
One of the simplest, yet most impactful, ways to help children become peacemakers is to cultivate a spirit of generosity. This doesn’t just apply to toddlers sharing toys—it’s an ongoing lesson that applies as they grow older and face more complex challenges.
When children learn to be generous in the face of conflict, they begin to value relationships more than material possessions or personal preferences. As they grow, teaching them to ask questions like, “Am I willing to share?” or “Am I being generous?” helps shift their focus from themselves to others. This principle echoes the generosity of our heavenly Father, who blesses us abundantly.
It’s important to remember that generosity is about more than sharing possessions. It extends to sharing time, emotions, and even the willingness to let go of an offense. This mindset fosters peace and de-escalates conflict, whether among siblings or friends.
Addressing Drama and Escalation
Another critical aspect of peacemaking is teaching children to avoid fueling unnecessary drama. This is especially relevant in friendships and social situations outside the home. When conflicts arise, whether at school or during playdates, children need to ask themselves, “Am I adding to the drama, or am I helping bring peace?”
Romans 12:21 reminds us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” We can train our children to look for ways to calm a situation rather than making it worse. By reflecting on their role in conflicts, they can actively contribute to peace, even when the temptation to escalate or gossip might be strong.
Practical Peacemaking: A Biblical Principle
When all else fails, sometimes the solution to conflict can be found in an ancient biblical principle—casting lots. It’s a method mentioned in the Bible to resolve disputes when there’s no clear solution, and it’s a practice we can apply today with something as simple as flipping a coin or drawing straws.
This approach helps avoid ongoing disputes over minor issues like who gets the first turn or the biggest piece of cake. It also teaches children that sometimes, surrendering personal preferences for the sake of peace is the best course of action.
The Role of Forgiveness in Peacemaking
Forgiveness is the ultimate goal of any conflict resolution. Jesus tells us to forgive, not just once or seven times, but “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21-22). This means we must be prepared to forgive again and again, even when it’s difficult.
As parents, we can help our children understand that forgiveness is a repeated assignment in relationships. Teaching them that every relationship comes with challenges—whether it’s a sibling or a friend—helps them realize that forgiving others is part of maintaining those relationships.
We can model this in our own relationships by showing that forgiveness isn’t about ignoring someone’s faults but choosing to extend grace, just as Christ has forgiven us.
Cultivating a Generous Spirit at Home
Generosity and peacemaking go hand in hand. At home, children often face small conflicts over material things, like broken toys or taking turns. These moments are perfect opportunities to instill the value of generosity and forgiveness. For example, if a sibling accidentally breaks another’s toy, it’s important to teach the offended child that the toy is “not worth your tears” and to focus on the relationship rather than the object.
By reminding our children that relationships are more valuable than things, we help them develop a mindset of peace. This lesson will serve them well as they grow and encounter more significant challenges in their friendships and future relationships.
Empowering Your Child to Be a Peacemaker
Peacemaking is a skill that requires practice. Over time, children who are taught how to handle conflicts with generosity and forgiveness will begin resolving their disputes without needing parental intervention. They’ll start applying biblical principles naturally, and their relationships will be strengthened as a result.
Conclusion
Raising peacemakers doesn’t happen overnight, but with intentional effort, we can help our children grow into individuals who prioritize peace, generosity, and forgiveness. By teaching them these values early on, we equip them to navigate a world full of conflict with grace and wisdom.
For more in-depth biblical guidance on conflict resolution and peacemaking, we recommend checking out the Brother Offended Checklist from Doorposts.com, which offers a step-by-step approach for dealing with conflict in a godly way. You can also dive deeper into these concepts with our book Healing Family Relationships, available at visionaryfam.com/healing.
If you found this post helpful, subscribe to our blog or share it with a friend who could benefit from learning more about raising peacemakers. For a companion discussion on this topic, visit visionaryfam.com/podcast. Together, we can raise a generation of children who embody the peace and love of Christ.
