Getting married without a Christ-centered, Bible-driven purpose is like building a house without a foundation. It can be done. You can purchase a plot of ground, and pay someone to starting building you a house…right there on the grass. The frame will go up, and the roof will go on. The electrical, plumbing, drywall, fixtures and appliances can all be installed. You can move right in.
For the first few days, even months, life is great. The new house is everything you hoped for. Then you notice a big crack in the wall. The next day the roof springs a leak. A storm comes and the carpets are sopping wet. Why did all these things happen? Did the wall crack because of bad drywall? Did the roof leak because of defective shingles? Did the carpet get wet because of poor installation? All these problems arose for the same reason – an inadequate foundation.
This is how we began our married life. Sure, we did some premarital counseling, and it was helpful. The mentors that helped us loved the Lord and loved us. But the relationship issues that we tried to work on were all above the ground. We talked about communication, finances, sexuality, and in-laws. In fact, when we first began our marriage ministry together, these were the subjects that we thought were the most important things that young couples needed to talk about. Sadly, all our attention went to “building the house” and not laying the foundation.
As a result, after ten years of marriage, we realized that we didn’t just have communication problems, we had foundation problems. Our marriage had far deeper issues than we realized, because we had entered into our marriage with our ideas about what family was all about rather than God’s purpose for family as revealed in the Bible.
This is not to say that if a couple does not build with a biblical foundation they are doomed to misery and divorce. Many couples, Christian and non-Christian alike, are able to keep patching the holes and fixing the leaks. They stick together and many blessings come from their faithfulness to one another. But far too many of us settle for a good marriage. God has an extraordinary purpose and plan for your marriage! He has revealed it in the pages of Scripture for those that will read it, believe it, and seek to obey it.
Repairing the foundation
Imagine discovering that your home has a foundation problem. The only way to fix it is to do the messy work of ripping out flooring and digging down to make the needed repairs. God had to lead us through that messy work. It was serious, and it was hard.
God had to turn our hearts first to Him, then to His Word as a sufficient guide for our family. God brought us to a place of repentance and He has started the process of replacing our everyday marriage, with a visionary marriage. We are praying He will do the same for you.