How Many, How Soon? - Visionary Family Ministries

How Many, How Soon?


How do Christians make big decisions? Will you go to college? If so, where will you go? Will you get married? Is he or she the one? Will you take that new job? If you are a Christian, how do you go about making big decisions like these? There are a few things Christians do to discern God’s will. We pray and take the matter to the Lord. We pray things such as, “Lord, I don’t want to make this decision in my own wisdom. I don’t want my opinion to be the determining factor here. I want to do what You want me to do. Please show me Your will. Make it clear to me, and I will obey You.” Along with prayer, we should eagerly search the Scriptures to learn all God has said about that particular issue in His Word. God has spoken on every matter of importance in the Bible, and we want to start there for truth and guidance. In addition to prayer, and submitting our thoughts to Scripture, we seek godly counsel. We share the big decision we are facing with other believers who we respect. We ask them for their prayers and advice. Over a period of time, through Scripture first, then prayer,  and wise counsel, we come to our decision.

We made many of our important decisions according to these Christian principles. Yet, when it came to this supremely important issue of “how many, how soon,” we immediately responded, “We would like three or four kids, starting in three years.” There was no prayer. There was no searching the Scriptures for all that the Lord had to tell us about having babies. There was no wise counsel.

We didn’t realize until many years later, even though we were Christians, when it came to this vital area of our lives, we thought exactly like the rest of the world. We viewed the decision to have children as one we were in control of—100%. This was our call. How many? We decide. How soon? We decide.

It never even dawned on us that as Christians, we should seek God’s will for us rather than our own! We never prayed, “God, when it comes to children, not our will, but Yours be done.” We never opened the Bible to search for the direction that God has

already given us about this vital mission of our marriage. We never sought godly counsel from people who knew the Bible. The decision about having children was ours…and ours alone. God’s will and His divine revelation were not part of the equation. This was one of the many areas in our marriage where we discovered many years later that we had built our relationship on a broken foundation. We wish we could turn back the clock.Read more in the Visionary Marriage book –

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